""Poets often describe love as as an emotion that we can't control, one that overwhelms logic and common sense. That is what it was like for me. I didn't plan on falling in love with you..." The Notebook-Nicholas Spark
Bookmark by Dave Kartzman
Let me be a bookmark in your life;
Crafted with our love
And the coloured inks
of our words;
A weathered parchment
of my soul
Upon your memory.
As you walk through life,
Other chapters will be scripted.
Someday,
you will reflect,
Tabbing back to the bookmark we built,
Remembering . . .
ME
Someone who wish to be none other than herself. Loves books, poetry and musics. Writing from the heart, eyes and ear.
I love poetry but i can't really write. I paintings but i cannot draw. I love music but i am a lousy singer.
Smile and laugh a lot. A happy go lucky person yet sensitive.
I will bring you in my journey to the unknown destination. You might like it and you may not...but whadda heck it's my life.
My Motto
To accomplish great things,
we must not only act,
but also dream;
not only plan,
but also believe
Ya Allah
temuikanlah diri ini dengan kegembiraan
hilangkanlah kesedihan hatiku ini
bila teringat akan dia
ku mohon Ya Allah,
kekuatan jiwa dan semangat
dalam menghadapi dugaanMu.
Aku tahu Ya Allah
setiap pilihan yang ku buat
akan mengubah corak
perjalanan hidupku.
Ya Allah, aku mohon
agar apa yang aku lakukan ini
tidak akan menghilangkan
kasih dan sayangku pada dia.
Dan tidak juga akan mengurangkan
kasih dan sayangnya padaku.
Satukanlah hati kami dalam cahayaMu,
dalam keredhaanMu
dan jua dalam kasih sayangMu.
Berilah aku kekuatan dan ketabahan
untuk menghadapi seketika detik
hidupku tanpa dia disisi sehingga
aku bersedia untuk kembali
i'll be flying off to KK tomorrow. will be there till next wednesday. it's good to be away from the office. really need a break especially with the things going on in the office. let me just say that i am not that satisfied with the compensation given to me and the rest of us who serve the company less than 5 years. let me leave it at there.
enigma - how's ur singapore shopping trip? i_mshe - i'll call you when i get back from KK. when are you coming to KL? lun - how are you dearie? don't be too stress out. cekmi - where's the update? cekya & tatot - when's the next meet-up? awan - how are you bro? where's the pic?
History
repeats. wish it's 5.30pm. i rather be home than be here with my
bestfriend not talking to me. it is so dreadful. he is here but he is
not talking to me. he ignored me since last friday...was it something i
said? he did offend me sometimes but i just brushed it away because we
have been friends for so long. i thought that things are going to be
okay this week...but it's not. kinda make me sad. i wish that he would
just pour out what is in his mind. just
hate what i am feeling rite now. wanna cry but i can't. it happened
once in the past..he did not talk to me for quite a while and i decided
to write him a letter. the situation goes unexplained..sometimes i do
wonder why he suddenly did not talk to me back then. now to experience
once again, having that kind of uncomfotable feeling once more..put me
in an unhappy phase at the moment.
i wanna go home......stay home till the 15th and fly off to KK.
Accompany Lin to Batu Caves eraly in the morning..climbing up the stairs in preparation for Mount Kinabalu. 275 all together. Reaching the top my legs started to wobble. I thought it's going to be hard climbing the stairs but it's not that difficult. Tomorrow, i will be climbing up the stairs again. Am going off to KK for holiday from 15-21 June. Decided not to climb the Mount Kinabalu. Not that i don't want to, i do but knowing myself and what cold weather can do to me, i have to say no to that. it happened to me twice..lost consciousness due to very cold weather/situation.
Invited Lin for lunch. Cooked simple dishes. It's been quite a while since i really cooked. Staying by myself and having classes on sat and sunday, i don't see the point of going the hassle of cooking unless i invited frens for lunch. Now since my brother, Anuar is staying with me, i guess i will be cooking again. It did came across my mind to invite my blogsahabat for lunch...ermmm. one of these day, perhaps before i start the new semester in July.
Tonite my uncle and aunties went 'merisik' for my cousin Aja and they are thinking of having the ceremony in August. am hoping that it won't coincide with my Karambunai trip.
Mencintai dirimu Untuk yang terakhir kali ini Lihat ku disini Setia untuk dirimu
Kasih yang ku belai Gugur selama-lamanya Waktu yang memisah Menghukum luka yang lama terpendam
Kesuraman yang telah menjelma Dihujani sedihku Melaratkan kenangan bersama Diakhir pemergian dirimu
Tinggallah aku menanti Mimpi yang indah kan mewarnai hati Hanyalah dirimu yang bertakhta dijiwaku dulu Tak rela meninggal suci kasihmu itu Bersemadi cinta ku di sini Biar mekar mengharumi Andai ada masa kan ku temu... kasih...
Last saturday went to IKEA with Amar. Bought a pot of tea roses. been wanting to buy it. at last. pink and cream roses. just lovely. I LIKE.
these two weeks am quite happy eventho there were stumbles here and there. I got to know that my best fren Jel is in town. I bumped into her in 2001. It was 11 year since i last saw her. We had a good time reminiscing schoolday memories. I lost contact with her again when she left for Terengganu. Monday last week, Emi told me that Jel is town and gave me her number. Called her immediately and catch up on each other latest news. am supposed to meet her last Wednesday but had to postpone to another day as she was busy. Hope to see her tomorrow. Can't hardly wait. Miss her.
Anuar started working on Monday. He is staying with me now.
More good things to come..hopefully.
Happy Birthday (in advance ) to AMAR, HAM & AYEN (25th May )
Cekmi called and invited Cekya, Tatot and me last week to his place but we can't make it and suggested that it be postponed the week after. Last Friday..if i am not mistaken Cekmi texted me to come over to his place on Saturday. Cekya and Tatot also will be going. Met Tatot and Cekya at Duta Vista since i don't know the way.
Cekmi was cooking gulai darat when we reached his place. Cekmi said his gulai darat did not turn out as it should because of the coconut milk. Cekmi…trust me, it was not that. bad. Tho it's a bit spicy for Tatot and Cekya. As usual, Cekmi is being teased by us.
cekmi's place is full of colour…even the bathroom. simply love the stripes dinnerware (if i may call it ).All in all, it was fun to gather again. We meet Raof, Amir and 'org kampung' cekmi ( really forgot his name ).
On Saturday, we had our last economic class. Presented a case study percapita chicken consumption using the econometric and regression. i was assigned to present the statistic part. Alhamdulillah, it went well. As compared with my previous presentation, i consider this was the best. Maybe because i understand the subject matter better.
Never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command ~ Alan Watts
with all the things that happened around me lately, kind of make methinks about him and i ending up feeling rather sad. i pray that i will someday meet someone who are able to open my heart to love again. no one is capable of doing that so far..not even the one i once loved. how can you tell someone that you have no feeling for him without hurting his feeling when he constantly utters those words to you? have to find a way or a courage. one thing for sure this is going to be hard...one angry person. don't want to be a hypocrite, don't want to lie myself in believing something which is not there.
i wonder how many wrong persons i have to meet in order for me to find the right one. no answer. can i love again? the question remains unanswered.
received a shocking news on monday via sms that my former boss was critically ill of cancer. never knew that he was with cancer at all. it was a shock to all of us. all we knew was that he had a heart bypass surgery a month back. thot of visiting him after work the next day but amar smsed me in the morning saying that he had passed away. it is sad...he was such a nice person and likeable by everybody. i am still in a shock. went to his house to see arwah for the last time. quite a crowd...mostly people from the industry who knew him. got the chance to met old colleagues. as myself, everybody were shocked with the news. got to see arwah for the last time before the burial.
Alfatihah untuk arwah Encik Ihsan Hazari. Moga rohnya ditempatkan bersama orang-orang yg beriman.
p/s : after receiving the news from amar, i accidently hit my cousin car while reversing. really did not notice his car. now have to pay him RM 350. the best part was, he just got the car 3 days ago. adusssss. lucky it's my cousin, if not sure kena taruh...
love is like the air, you can see but u can feel it..
A
Walk To Remember based on novel by Nicholas Spark was on tv just now.
This my second time watching and although i know the ending, still
managed to make me cry. A name, a face came flashing in my mind.
Gosh...it's that moment again. Feels like only yesterday..can
still hear his voice. Pause. Miss him.
No news about him. I wish him well and hoping for miracle. My prayers will be with you always, dear.
Won't dwell on this issue...it will do me bad. wouldn't want that. Yes,
i_mshe, am trying to get him out of my system. This is one of
those occassion whereby the vivid memories pass me by.
My grandad was admitted to the CCU on wednesday because of his weak heart. He is much better now, alhamdulillah.
What did i do on my birthday..ermm, attended a seminar on the
NEP, continued with my economic class. Went to my aunt's place,
had dinner at Vichudda, Section 7. Nothing fancy.
Birthdate
1st Jan - Kam
22nd Mac - Azean
11th April -Ogy
16th April - WTL, Maman, Akiah
15thMay - Tatot
25th May - Amar, Ham, Ayen
11th June - Baby Isya
23rd Aug - Enig
27th Aug - Lun
1st Sept - Amran
17thSept - Kroll
28thSept - Azlin
20th Oct - Azlan
5th Nov - Dik Noor
6th Nov - Zack
8th Dec - Suzi
29th Dec - Aiez
Future Events
May - B.L.O.G.F.R.I.E.N.D.S.M.E.E.T.0.6
June - Kota Kinabalu
So long ago, I don't remember when
That's when they say I lost my only friend
Well they said she died easy of a broken heart disease
As I listened through the cemetery trees
I seen the sun comin' up at the funeral at dawn
The long broken arm of human law
Now it always seemed such a waste
She always had a pretty face
So I wondered how she hung around this place
Chorus:
Hey, come on try a little
Nothing is forever
There's got to be something better than
In the middle
But me & Cinderella
We put it all together
We can drive it home
With one headlight
She said it's cold
It feels like Independence Day
And I can't break away from this parade
But there's got to be an opening
Somewhere here in front of me
Through this maze of ugliness and greed
And I seen the sun up ahead
At the county line bridge
Sayin' all there's good and nothingness is dead
We'll run until she's out of breath
She ran until there's nothin' left
She hit the end-it's just her window ledge
(chorus)
Well this place is old
It feels just like a beat up truck
I turn the engine, but the engine doesn't turn
Well it smells of cheap wine & cigarettes
This place is always such a mess
Sometimes I think I'd like to watch it burn
I'm so alone, and I feel just like somebody else
Man, I ain't changed, but I know I ain't the same
But somewhere here in between the city walls of dyin' dreams
I think of death-it must be killin' me
Poetry of The Week
How Do I Love Thee? by Elizabeth Barrett Browning >
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, -- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! -- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
